a completely unnecessary website

It's
probably
about you.

I was going to make something normal. Then I remembered who I was making it for. So... here we are.

Don't be curious ↓
Important research

An investigation
into you.

After extensive research, several unnecessary observations, and absolutely no professional qualifications, I have reached some conclusions.

01

Professional Menace

Somehow manages to turn completely normal conversations into absolute chaos.

02

Suspiciously Cute

Unfortunately, the evidence suggests you're actually kinda adorable. Very inconvenient.

03

Too Much Personality

There is apparently no setting between "quiet" and "what is happening right now?"

Exhibit A through H

The Museum
of You.

Eight completely innocent photographs. Definitely not being used as evidence. Probably.

Exhibit 01 — No explanation required.
Exhibit 02 — This seemed like a good idea at the time.
Exhibit 03 — Your lawyer may want to see this.
Exhibit 04 — Okay... this one is actually cute.
Exhibit 05 — Absolutely zero thoughts behind those eyes.
Exhibit 06 — I have questions.
Exhibit 07 — Annoyingly photogenic.
Exhibit 08 — Fine. You win. 👀
Completely objective statistics

The final
assessment.

Funny 94%
Chaotic 112%
Annoying 87%
Cute ...unfortunately, 98%
Someone I'd choose to hang out with 100%

Okay.

If you've made it this far, I guess I should admit something.

You're kind of a big deal.

Don't let this website inflate your ego though. I still reserve the right to bully you.

I could've made this website for anyone...

but I made it for you. ❤️

Make of that what you will. 😌